Very Secret Diary of Commodore James Norrington
by stuckonnorrington
Summary: Ever wondered what our favourite Commodore was thinking during the movie, Pirates of the Caribbean? Well Now you can find out! Corsets, wigs, brocade and pirates abound!


The Very Secret Diary of Commodore James Norrington

- by Christine (stuckonnorrington)

Genre: Humour

Rating: PG - for some light swearing

Summary: Ever wondered what our favourite Commodore was thinking during the movie, Pirates of the Caribbean? Well Now you can find out!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own James Norrington, any characters mentioned or Pirates of the Caribbean. Disney does. Neither am I so cool as to come up with the idea of the "V.S.D"s -- That was Ms. Genius herself, Cassandra Claire. So basically I'm trying to say - nope, not mine. I'm just borrowing for fun :o)

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**The Very Se****cret Diary of**

**Commodore James Norrington**

**  
Day 1.**

Agreed to take Governor and his daughter to Port Royal. Daugther free spirited urchin. She likes Pirates and Corsets. What have I gotten myself into?

**  
Day 56.**

Girl – Elizabeth – sang about Pirates. Used "short drop and sudden stop" line to impress. She wasn't. Damn. Oh yes, Boy found in water. Girl holding something behind wanna-be corseted back (what is it with her and corsets???) Am suspicious.

Wig Status – very pretty. Stupid governor with stupid curly wig.

**  
Day. 3107.**

Go me! Finally promoted to Commodore. Now I have two pretty boats! Plus pretty sword from Blacksmith Boy. Huzzah!

-later-

Proposed to Elizabeth, who fell off the fort wall. Perhaps I need Breath mints?

-even later-

Stupid Pirate who stole my old wig – got newer, prettier one so it doesn't matter – saved Elizabeth (sans corset). Thought I was supposed to be the hero -_pout_- Have decided to hang him.

-night-

While Governor was pestering me ("How do you get your wig to be so pretty? Why can't I have a pretty blue coat with gold brocade? My Brocade is better than yours!"), he almost got hit by flying cannon ball. To re-achieve hero status, I knocked him over and barricaded him in my office. Now who's in charge old man?

Alas, pirate ship got away. Damn. Took Elizabeth too. Double Damn.

Wig Status – It's suffering from battle-pains. Need new conditioner.

**  
Day 3108**

Have headed search committee for Elizabeth (calling her "E." as Elizabeth is too long) then Blacksmith Boy comes and ruins my fanciest map I was showing off. Am not heartless bastard!

-later-

They stole my pretty boat! Crazy Pirate (Jack Sparrow, now unfortunately Captain) and Blacksmith Boy (Will Turner) took my pretty boat! -_hates pirates_- Will double attempts to be Hero.

Wig Status – It looks like an ice cream gone wild. Better find hat.

**  
Day 3110**

Sailing in other bigger, prettier boat and wonders what it would be like to live in Jack Sparrow's pant...s...erm...shoes. Made note to put beads in wig for a day.

**  
Day 3120**

Have found E. (in underwear!!) with Crazy-wig-and-boat-stealing-Pirate on Island. Now why couldn't that have been me?

-later-

E. agreed to marry me. Doesn't think she means it and still is hung up on Blacksmith Boy. But! She's marrying _me_ and not _him_. -_gloats_- Forgot to use "short stop and sudden drop" line on pirate because of good humour. Only told him to be quiet. How witty!

Wig Status – not sure, haven't taken off hat. Don't want to.

**  
Day 3121**

Found out other pretty boat sunk. Have gone off to sulk and prettify wig. Demands full compensation from all guilty parties!

**  
Day 3125**

Why did I listen to him? CRAZY PIRATE! -_biffer_- Locked up E. She's going to hurt herself one day. Am hoping it's not because of corset.

-later-

Beat creepy skeleton/pirate ... things. Was a sword wielding machine – go me! Heading back to Port Royal.

Wig Status – spiffy as ever.

**  
Day 3133**

"Short Stop and Sudden Drop" Day! Must find pretty hat.

-later-

Hat is prettier than Blacksmith/Pirate boy's. Wonders why he isn't nancing about with golden hair and bow and arrows... what? Where'd that come from?

-later-

Elizabeth loves Blacksmith Boy. Damn. Crazy Pirate jumped off wall and swam away... perhaps more Breath mints?? Governor spouting about "doing the right thing" and how brocade should only be worn at certain times. As If. Life sucks -_sulks_- That offer to go drinking sounds mighty tempting, must find Gillette and see if he's done shaving.

Wig Status: fits nicely with spiffy hat and suit!


End file.
